Turning your Unhappy Postponed Wedding Day Thoughts into Positive Visualisations

15/11/2020

No thanks to Coronavirus, hundreds, to thousands of couples have had to postpone their wedding days. As if the emotions of living through (or should we say locked-in through) a global pandemic weren't enough to process, you're now trying to get your head around how what would have been the happiest day of your life, has somehow turned into an event that's left you heartbroken and ever-so disappointed. What you must remember is that you're not alone! 

Feeling sad about postposing your wedding? Let yourself be sad!

Firstly, I just wanted to say if you're reading this and your wedding has been postponed, my heart goes out to you. I'm engaged, planning my wedding and getting everything in order ready to set a date, so I totally understand what it feels to ride the exciting waves of emotion and if I were in your shoes I would be feeling, quite frankly, pretty broken. If this is you right now...let me start by saying this...it's ok to feel crappy, you're human!


Visualize, don't over-analyse!


You know the saying 'what's the worst that could happen'? Well, I want you to start saying this to yourself. It's really easy to get stuck in a mindset where you're constantly thinking about all the things that have ruined your wedding day plans. All the people you felt you 'let down', all the suppliers you 'booked 2 years ago to make sure they were available' and most importantly the details, like colour schemes, cake flavours, table d├ęcor, even the dress!

With so much more time to think, I have a feeling you're going to start picking at everything...lets take the dress for example. If a question such as; 'I wish I'd tried on more dresses' is burning your ears then you really need to start thinking about why you loved it so much in the first place and what it was that made you say 'it's the one'. Would you be thinking this if you had gone ahead with your original wedding date? Ask yourself, take a step back and think about it. Once you've reassured yourself, write down in a notepad all the reasons as to why it's so beautiful so when you next get these negative thoughts, the notes will be there for you to read when you need them.

However if you really are adamant your dress is no longer 'the one', pop the bridal store an email telling them how you feel and get yourself booked in for when we come out of lockdown 2. Chances are, you're probably not the only one that needs professional reassurance!

As I said, you've so much time to think...which also means more time to plan the finer details you didn't have time, or the budget for that matter, to do before. For example; you really wanted to dress the ceremony chairs with ribbon or flowers, but had so many bigger things to stress about, it wasn't worth it in the end. Now you have the time to really perfect the things you compromised on before, so your postponed wedding day can be even bigger and better than the original.

Switching your thoughts from over-analysing what would have been, to visualizing your new wedding day really helps pave the way for better visualizations, visualizations of 2021, a wedding and huge party that you deserve and one that you can fully enjoy.

Confide in your partner and tell them how you're feeling

Rather than assuming they can read your mind or will know how to be there for you, show them what makes you feel better and talk about it. Let your partner know how you're feeling and tell them exactly what you need from them using positive words. For example; 'I'm feeling really anxious about it all today, can we sit and talk about our new wedding day plans together?'. One thing to remember is, both of you had your wedding day postponed, you both need the support, so allow eachother the chance to process how you're both feeling and be there to listen whenever you both need. This is a great opportunity to build the foundations for how to support each other and cope with stressful events, which is an inevitable part of life.

Create your own milestones

I'll say it again. You've had to postpone your wedding day due to a global pandemic. This is not normal. Things have kind of gone out the window, so now it's up to you to decide what you want to do. Having an extra year to plan is SO fun, you can plan a second hen party if you want or plan to do something on the day your wedding was supposed to happen.

Even if that something is a socially distant video call drinking session. Making this situation your own and owning it is how you're going to stay positive and get that excitement back. See it as an extra year to plan in fun things and get extra gifts for your hen party bags if you like.

Aside from planning extra wedding activities, why don't you look at the preparation side of things? Did you commit to making a feel-good skin smoothie every morning when you said you would? Did you explore all of the possible lip colours you could wear on your wedding day? If you really think you could do a little more, why don't you start your wedding day preparation today, or pick up where you left off your wedding day prep before. Keeping your mind busy and most importantly making time for a little self care, will really help keep these postponement stresses at bay.



Vanessa Elles Brides